Join a gym, take a class, research alumni events in your area, join activities with colleagues at work, ask friends for help with meeting people in your area, look for meetups, join a sports league or get a dog instead of a cat so you force yourself to go outside more.
While these are easier said than done, many of these are easier to do in bigger towns and cities. Sometimes getting a fresh breath of air can force you socialize than if you stay where you grew up and never left.
Avoid booths, corner seats, backs to people. Open up. Ask for a menu, ask if someone is sitting at the free seat. Talk to the bartender. Ask for recommendations even if you have an idea of what to order (be sure to be specific, what you like, don’t like, curious about).
If you sit at communal areas, someone will likely ask to see a menu, ask about what you are drinking (if it is interesting), ask to watch their stuff (if you dress well and are non-threatening) or might ask to take a photo if they are celebrating something.
Take a break from the office or home office, sit in places with other people. Have cool, fucking stickers on your laptop. Ask someone for the wifi password even if you know it. Ask someone to watch your stuff as you go order something from the cashier or go to the restroom (but don’t take too long).
The more you rely on apps the less human contact you will have and the fewer opportunities you will have to meet others. Delete apps, order in person, talk to service folks, wait in line.
Change things up when it comes to routes you take to/from work, neighborhoods you hang out at, places you frequent etc. Research places to explore and use those as a guide to navigate new parts of your hometown.
Don’t be self-conscious about going out on your own. Go out to dinner by yourself. Go to a bar or jazz club by yourself. Grab dinner at the bar.
You may have to share a table with another single, you might have to rely on someone for information or advice rather than a friend or your phone, you may actually have to talk to someone you don’t know for a change.
It’s so easy to strike up a conversation with someone if you have a dog. It gives the other person a perfectly normal excuse to strike up something to say without seeming like a come on. It also will force you to leave the house more often and socialize with others. It will also help you exercise more.
If you spend enough time on dating apps with no success, it can affect your mental health. Dating apps can help your dating efforts but it’s not necessarily easier than meeting people offline. Both require a unique set of skills, patience, self-awareness and strategy to have any type of success. Read: dating apps suck.
It happens, people can get tired of flakes, bot, spammers, manipulators, immature people, narcissists – you name it. Rather than continue to subject yourself to torture, take a break.
There is always room for improvement but not everyone wants to subject themselves to brutal honesty whether it’s hurdles with height, appearance, location, expectations, urgency, preferences, deal-breakers etc.